The Throne !

Question:
Where is the best place to get information on?


Couple of days back, a friend wanted to know which is the place to learn fashion secrets? She gave me two options, I couldn't answer then... but now thinking back, I know the answer.


And the answer is:
The Loo.



If you think my answer above is ridiculous, do so at your own peril. Take my word, the Loo is the best place to learn anything, for that matter. I'll tell you how.


When the day begins, the husband usually grabs the latest issues of all the newspapers magazines that he can get hold of. Its usually limited to 3, sometimes 4 different magazines and the business and current affairs sections of the newspaper (which I so hate!) and.... he stacks them up in the Loo. He reads them whenever he is there :P. Trust me, he firmly believes that, its the best place to read those mags. Nobody in the world can see him (they better not !). He has all the time to go through each and every line, every photograph, every letter, and even every advertisement. When he finally comes out, he is not just a relieved man, he is better-informed one too !


Every magazine will tell him at least one thing that he didn't know before. Trust me when I say this. So the next time you're visiting any of the fashion or politics or whatever forum and you find a post which says "Where can I learn XYZ??"....... you know what the answer should be ! Scroll up, if you're still not sure :)


P.S. :- And whenever, I need to ponder on something or take a major decision or just be myself....... 


:)

Her Life after the ashes.

Sundays were usually Family-Time for me and my siblings when we were in school. My parents made us visit the elders of the family every weekend and we used to look forward to these visits as we could eat a lot of the usually restricted snacks thus served. Sometimes during these so called visits, I used to notice a very peculiar thing, but was too scared to ask anyone…why? …. why a selected few elderly women of these visited houses were treated as if they were untouchables? Why they were made to sit in one corner of the house, dressed in white sari without a border, disregarded, not talked to, minding grandchildren at one point and overly attached to her son on the other? Why she was not allowed to put her hands into any auspicious work? Why she was not invited to any marriages or happy moments thus celebrated? Why?

Now, I know the reason why and it pains me to the core. Probably, I was better when I did not know.

Of course, she was the Bengali Widow. She was forced to be like this. After all she lost her husband at a young age and has had to live her life only with her children (if any), being looked after by her husband’s brother. The question of remarriage was only for the elite upper class. Not for her. So she learnt to make her life colourful in her own little way, adding meaning to her lack-luster life like the colourless white sari, the necklace of tulsi beads around her neck and her empty hands, those hands which were filled with sonar churi (gold bangles) and bala and her neck with a thick gold chain, even her fingers wore a ring or two, but alas!

Since she was a widow, her meal had to be a total vegetarian, without meat, fish, garlic, onions and masur daal. For those who are vegetarians, you can only imagine what a deprivation it must be for a woman whose tongue is suited to non-vegetarian meals from her sixth month onwards, to be compelled to eat only vegetarian meals when the rest of the household is doing otherwise. Her kitchen had to be but separate from the non-veg one. For those of us who are non-vegetarians, it is unthinkable that one woman in the same household can be treated with such silent torture, year after year after year.

During medieval times in Bengal the treatment of widows was much more forced than was common elsewhere. They led very monastic lives within the household and lived under strict dietary restrictions. They were not allowed any interests but religion and housework. Since widows were banned ‘impassioning’ or ‘aphrodisiac’ condiments such as onion or garlic. They were allowed only one meal during midday and only fruit and milk at night. They had to cut their hair short too.

These widows either spent the rest of their lives serving the people in her family or they were made to go to “Kashi” ( also called Varanasi) and through these strict disciplines imposed on them, the Hindu lawgivers constantly reminded them of the ideal of chastity, which is deeply ingrained in the Indian mind. They wanted widows to be living examples of simplicity, renunciation, purity, nonattachment, and the spirit of unselfish service.

Though, the strictness has subsided, I cant say, that the custom isn’t followed anymore….Till today, Bengali widows aren’t allowed to help in any auspicious work, till today people do stare if a widow is seen eating fish, till today, widows are supposed to wear whites only…

I just hope we wake up. Someday.